Little Owie

Pre-Checklist: If you only read one thing, check to see if you’ve done the following:

• Find a local OBGYN and hospital and attend all checkups (together!)
• Find a local (and ideally close!) pediatrician – you’ll be taking a lot of trips there
• Pack a couple bags for the inevitable hospital stay and stash them somewhere
• Buy and install a car seat (you won’t be able to leave with your little one without it!)
• Set aside space at home where your little one can sleep (dedicated or not)
• Buy the stuff on the list below (ahead of time if possible) and a book or two to look at during your downtime.

 

Top Resources for Fathers: these are my current go-tos when I need some information:

• Be Prepared! A Practical Handbook for New Dads – This is my go-to and you can get away with this being the only baby book that I think fathers will really need. It’s full of practical advice in an easy-to-read format (pictures!!) and is written for guys with a sense of humor. It’s not going to get into bonding, science of sleeping etc., but it’s something you’ll refer to over and over again.
• The happiest baby on the block – this is a great primer on methods to comfort your little guy. If you don’t want the whole book (and you don’t really need it), check out this article.

Well.. that was rather short. The truth is that we got most of our practice and info at the hospital, which essentially gave us a 4-day parenting crash course (in on a Thursday to induce, out on Sunday). When choosing your hospital, it’s worth some research to find out what type of services they offer new parents and what that initial stay covers. We worked with nurses to show us how to change diapers, swaddle, treat common baby ailments, and answer general questions. We were visited by a lactation consultant, OBGYN, and a pediatrician a few times each, and after we came back home a social worker followed up. This more than anything else gave us some hands-on experience and confidence with our little guy before we were on our own with him.

 

Consider a Night Nurse: A fantastic splurge if you can swing it

If you’ve never heard of a night nurse then you and I were in the same boat. Essentially, it’s someone who will drop by your place in the evenings (say, 10pm) a few nights a week (Sun – Thu would be full-time) and take care of your baby so you can both get some shut eye. The good ones will also act as newborn consultants, helping you figure out various random situations as they come up, because they’ve seen it all.

Despite my initial hesitancy, “we” opted to hire a night nurse for the first 6 weeks+ post-birth. While not inexpensive, it has been a godsend that allows us to get more sleep and provides us with initial guidance and insight. I hadn’t even heard of the concept but after a few restful nights – and restless weekends – I’ve fully come around. I highly recommend looking into it if you can afford it. We went through a formal agency, but I also have friends who have hired retired neighbors and local high schoolers on the cheap. It makes a world of difference.

 

Top Skills: Practice these early because they will be important!

• Swaddling: Babies love to be swaddled! When they reach their hands out, they feel like they’re falling and it startles them (probably a holdover from evolution), but a swaddle keeps them tight and feeling like they’re back in the womb. Learn how to swaddle on a stuffed animal and consider buying something like these easy swaddle blankets (full disclosure: I don’t own these but don’t know which ones my wife ordered).
• Changing diapers: A bit obvious but with an average of ~4K diapers just in the first year, you’ll get lots of practice with this one! It’s good to practice a bit first though as technique is important and will save you some headaches. Here’s a good primer. (Also make sure to ball diapers up after for efficient storage in your Diaper Genie.)
• Bottle feeding: we had to supplement with our little man on day 1, but regardless of when, you’ll eventually use some bottles with your little one. Learning to feed without making it too easy is important so that 1) baby doesn’t reject breastfeeding, and 2) baby can keep it down. Basically, make sure to fill the nipple only halfway when feeding and let the baby do the rest. I call it the “struggle feed.”
• Burping: This is simple but important! Sometimes it takes like 10min to get one out but doing so almost ensures that he’ll keep his meal down and be much more comfortable after feeding. I go with the “head over the shoulder” style, but there are a few options to choose from.
• Baby wrap: This is easy to do but takes a little time to learn. Once you have it down though, you can wrap up your little guy right to your chest/stomach, and go about your day doing chores, reading, working, etc. Much easier and highly recommend! This is a great starter video for the basic wrap that I started with, but there are a ton of videos and variations to choose from.

 

What to Buy (and When):

• Car seat – they won’t let you take your little person home from the hospital without it!
• Diaper genie(s) – this thing is great! Stash them where your changing area(s) is. You can stuff like 50 diapers in there before you have to take them out and it keeps it all compact and separated from house trash.
• Lots of diapers and baby wipes. Vaseline (for circumcision healing, baby bums) and Desatin (for bum rashes).
• Some initial clothes. Stick with zippers and onesies that a couple buttons at bottom for easy changing. Skip anything with lots of buttons throughout, pants, shirts, etc. And make sure to mix it up with clothes that are 0-3mo and also 3-6 so you have some options when clothes don’t fit one day. Thrift stores are great for this!
• Some swaddles (or even cheap sheets of stretchy fabric will do!)
• Cheap ($35ish) bassinets to put in your room, baby’s room, etc.
• Nail clippers so that baby doesn’t scratch his face all up.
• Glass bottles (avoid plastic!) and a little drying rack ( like this).
• Milk freezer bags for long-term storage (up to 12mo!) if you’re breastfeeding, and you may even want to consider a separate freezer if you have limited space. (For me, this meant a man cave beer fridge!)
• A few canisters of formula to have around for supplemental feeds and/or if you know you’ll eventually transition baby to it over time. We went with Bobbie on the advice of our night nurse.
• Baby wrap to start wearing you baby around the house (and eventually outside) in style!

It’s also nice to have some sort of swing or bouncy chair to stash in your main living room area, but this isn’t really needed.

 

Don’t bother Buying List:

• Plastic bottles (go glass).
• Bottle sanitizers (steam, microwave, etc) – bottles instantly become de-sanitized once they leave the device and hit your house air. It’s an effort in futility – just keep them clean.
• An excessive amount of baby stuff – they really don’t do much at first.

 

Later on you’ll need a stroller, bigger clothes, and more stuff to do, but for now I’d say chill and enjoy hanging with your little one while they nap on your chest. For the first couple weeks, baby mostly sleeps, eats, and expels. I hear it’s a bit of a honeymoon phase before they really start getting going.

This should keep you covered for most of it. Enjoy it while it lasts and take plenty of pictures and videos!